A Reflective Tale of Happy Motherhood

The boys are in bed. Finally. It has been a long day. A tiring day. A stressful day. A busy day. School is winding down, but my brain is still working overtime. I think about all that needs to be done yet this year. All that needs to be done next year. All that could be done better. My thoughts are scattered as I consider new ideas. Old paths. New avenues. Comforting routines. Conversations with friends.

As I wearily prepare for bed, something catches my eye on my shirt. There, on my right shoulder lies a big smeary "booger", for lack of a better word. Uncontrollable laughter wells up. Then the hilarity that is my life erupts. For how long, exactly, have I been wearing this unsolicited snot that is NOT my own?? As the guffaws echo through the bathroom, my poor husband cautiously peers around the corner. He knows, from experience, that his wife is often a little off her rocker, but what has inspired this outburst?? To his credit, he also sees the humor of proudly worn boogers and we laugh together.

Then, in a moment of clarity, a nugget of wisdom falls into my lap.

Herein, lies happy motherhood.

Sometime, during this crazy day, I was overcome by a happy, loving boy throwing himself into my arms, head buried deep in my shoulder. "I love your hugs, Mommy!" "I love you, Mommy!" "Mommy, your hugs are the best!"

Then it hits you. In the head. On the chest. In the heart. 

Despite my many failings as mother, teacher, wife and friend, somehow, my children still love me. There is the disorganized house. The frazzled mother. The weary teacher. The grumpy cook. And yet, there is love. Unconditional and selfless love. I am showered regularly with hugs and kisses given with exuberant wild abandon, by boys not yet shy about showing affection. Ah.... this is what matters!

Hugs. Smiles. Kisses. Time. Laughter. Tears. Joy. Christ.

All that truly matters in this life can be summed up in these 8 words.

The last couple of days I have been meditating on this scripture.

"However, as it is written:

'What no eye has seen,

what no ear has heard,

and what no human mind has conceived

the things God has prepared for those that love Him.'"

~1 Corinthians 2:19

These 8 things, these really important things, have been given to us here on Earth as a "taste" of what is yet to come. And I am grateful. And thankful. Yes, even for boogers. 

This morning after I awoke, ready for another unpredictable day of mothering, I slipped back into the shirt I was wearing yesterday. The one with the smear of "love". Yeah, I know. That's disgusting! But as I go through my morning, I am reminded of how it got there.

It means I am loved.

It means I am treasured.

It is a little taste of heaven!

Yes. Yes he IS mine.

I know this is supposed to be a blog about homeschooling, but I couldn't help posting my thoughts about a recent article/blog I read on the topic of adoption. The blog was entitled "10 Things You Shouldn't Say to an Adoptive Mother". Or something like that. The more I read another mom's compilation of stupid things people say, the madder I got. So, in righteous indignation, I've set about creating my own list of things I either have heard and hope to never hear again or things I had better not ever hear. In no particular order of idiocy or cruelty.... here is my personal list.

1. "Is he yours?" Asked with a quizzical quirk of the left eyebrow.

If you have to ask me that, then it truly is none of your business. I SO often forget that T has a different skin color that I have been known to stare dumbly at the idiot asking. I don't understand the question. Then I remember. Oh yes, that's right! In the world's eyes, we don't "match". Not sure how it is any of your business, but yes, yes he is mine. At which point I grit my teeth and walk away. At first, I felt compelled to offer a perfect stranger our adoption story, but that impulse has long gone and I frequently stare intently at the person until they feel ashamed and I smile and walk away.

2. "How much did he cost?" Asked with a surety that we must be very wealthy indeed.

Seriously? Well, sir, when I picked him up at the factory, there was a sale going on, so we got a real bargain. This question truly is no one's business. So unless I offer this information on adoption costs myself, please do not ask.

3. "He is very lucky to have you." Stated with pompous righteousness.

Actually, it is the opposite. He would most certainly be doing fine if his birthmother had chosen another loving family. We, on the other hand, would be at a significant loss and bereavement without him. He completes us.

4. "Why did his birthmother give him up?"

I can't even begin to address the anger that goes along with this statement. Once again, unless I am offering details, our story is none of your business. Also, she didn't "give him up". She decided that she loved him so much that she wanted him to have things in life that she couldn't offer. And before you ask, those "things" are not anything you need to concern yourself with. Thanks so much for asking. She made a totally unselfish and difficult decision. She chose to gift him with her ultimate sacrifice. Letting him call another woman "mom". Oh, and by the way, "she" has a name. Please honor her gift  to us by calling her by her name. She deserves that honor. And yes, I'd be happy to share her name with you.

5. "Do you plan to tell him he's adopted?"

Again, how is this your business? Also, in our case, have you actually looked at T? It is quite obvious that he was not created in my womb. That does not mean he was not created in my heart though. Simply ignorant people feel the need to pry this far.

6. "Why did you agree to stay in contact with his birthmother. Isn't that scary?"

Simply put? No. I do realize that someone selfish and without self confidence would feel threatened by contact with a birthmother. But as I said before, we owe her a debt we can never repay. Why is it so hard to fathom that we love her, think about her, worry about her, pray for her, remember her birthday and otherwise honor her?

7. "Is it difficult having a black child in your family?"

Technically their are 4 different skin colors in our family. T is Brown. My husband is tan. I am taupe and R is ivory. Only a racist would ask that question, which apparently you are. Since I have very strong feelings about racism, you may want to back away slowly.

8. "Have you heard from his mother lately?" This is always asked by the most well-meaning people on the planet.

This is quite possibly the most hurtful thing you could ever say to me. I am his mother. Me. The person whom you are looking at. At first I shrugged off this slip-up and overlooked the cruelty. But recently I decided that I would no longer tolerate such an insult. Someone did have the decency to ask me recently, what I preferred to call his birthmother when they asked about her. I said, "you may call her by name or refer to her as his birthmother. Please do not call her his mother." While I have immense love and respect for her, it is I who tends his boo boos, makes his birthday cakes, sings him his night-night song and reads him countless boring Thomas the Tank Engine stories. I changed his diapers, potty trained him, taught his about Jesus and bathed him. I am the one who wipes his tears, tells him he is the bestest T in the whole world, gives him "blanket hugs" and tucks him in. It is I who prays over him, nurses him when he is sick and loves every little thing about him. I am his mother.

There you have it. My own list of things I have heard in reference to our second miracle child. A child God saw fit to bless us with. A child not born of my womb but born in my heart. This child is mine and will forever be.

Merry Christmas

Dear family and friends,

Merry Christmas from the Delp home to each and every one of you. This year, in order to save time and money, we opted to send out only a few Christmas cards and those were mostly sent to family. We care about each and every one of you, our dear friends from many places all over the U.S., but 60 cards is just getting to be a bit much. So we send you Cyber greetings this year and enclose some of our favorite pictures recently taken.

We pray that during this time of year, each of you are remembering the true reason for Christmas, and that is the birth of our Saviour. Our prayer is that you will know HIS love in a real and personal way this coming year, and that if you have not invited Him into your life, that you will soon see your need of His presence dwelling inside you. We hope that during this time of year, you will remember to take stock of your blessings. We are thankful for our children, for our extended families, for our health, for our Church family, and for the many other abundant blessings that our Father has poured out on us this past year.

Enjoy your loved ones this Christmas! Sit down and play with those new toys with your kiddos. Give your mom a hug and tell her you love her for no reason, just out of the blue. Surprise your hubby with his favorite goody. Call that long lost friend and tell her how much she means to you. Ponder all those whom you love the most and then tell them so! And most of all, spend TIME!! Our tradition during Christmas week to is to just spend time together. No meetings are scheduled. No appointments are made. No errands are run. No "have to" things are scheduled on our calendar. We plan NOTHING but good quality time. Game nights, reading books snuggled up on the couch, watching movies together, coloring, puzzles....etc.etc. The gift of TIME is what your children will remember about their childhood. What better time of year to have this special tradition than during Christmas week?

Treasure each and every moment with those you cherish the most!

We hope the love and joy of Christmas is alive in your home!!

With much love,
Laurel, Nathan, Ryan and Trevor Delp

First Grade!

Well, here we are again! It's that time of year! Next Monday we will begin First Grade. Feeling overwhelmed and scared to death once again a few weeks ago, I cried out to the Lord for affirmation and peace that homeschooling Ryan is indeed His will for our family. Within moments of that prayer, I felt an amazing sense of peace as He brought to mind what was causing me to falter in my conviction. In new clarity, I was able to give to Him those things that were causing me to question my abilites and our decision that Ryan needs the one-on-one direction that homeschooling provides. In the next days after that desperate prayer, I chose to cling to that peace with tenacity as I dove into school prep! And so, here we are. I am working on schedules and lesson plans and gearing up for 1st Grade!! God is so good! Praise His holy name! This year, we will be exploring more extracurricular activities which is great for Ryan, but is overwhelming me already. We signed him up for Awanas that meets each week, swimming lessons will take place sometime this winter and hopefully community soccer in the spring. All this in addition to our homeschool co-op classes and field trips and regular schoolwork at home. Sounds chaotic to me, the gal who hates to live in a car, but Ryan will enjoy it all. Hopefully, all those extracurricular activities will help relieve his boundless energy (and probably sap mine)! That's about all folks! I'd appreciate your prayers for wisdom, guidance and patience as I start the new year teaching FIRST GRADE!!

Summer Vacation at Last!

Well, we survived the first year of homeschooling! I am glad, (no, really) I AM glad that we are homeschooling, I am just really, REALLY ready for summer vacation!! It has been a successful year, for sure, but the ups and downs of learning the ropes was stressful for me. Plus, the way Ry learns had me guessing each day. I'd think I'd have a method down-pat for what helped him, only to discover the next day he'd switch it up and that way wouldn't work. I've learned through research that that is typcial for ADHD children! We were working with My Father's World curriculum, which ended up being far too easy for him and I had to add several phonics books and readers mid-year to supplement. We were using Horizon's math, which is a spiral method and that ended up being a thorn in both our sides!! Apparently, spiral learning is NOT for Ry! That all being said, as I gaze upon my walls still full of artwork and learning projects, I realize that I taught a full school year of good learning to my son all by myself and the proof is all around me! He has learned to read and his handwriting has greatly improved. He has learned to add, subtract and do much more in math concepts. He has learned many many Bible verses and stories and life lessons. He has done lots of science experiments, watching caterpillars emerge as butterflies, hosting an ant farm, building a working volcano, visiting a cave and making butter being some of our most fun science lessons. He has learned how to tell time and keep track of days on a calendar. Counting money has been a hard concept for Ry, but I am proud of what he has accomplished and am confident that he will master it fully in first grade. Our nature walks/nature observation and learning have been the most fun subject we've done. He has learned a lot about animals, plants, trees and all of God's beautiful creation during these times. In looking toward next year, I am excited about the new curriculum we have chosen. After attending the CHAP convention last Friday in Harrisburg, I have a solid plan for next year. We will be switching math curriculums, allowing for a less rigorous pace in math and focusing more on boosting his reading skills. I am really excited about the subjects I've chosen and Ry is too! I only wish there was a curriculum out there that "did it all" for us. However, because of how Ry learns, we are forced to piece together our own curriculum package, using subjects from a variety of publishers. But, I'm thankful that I've learned all this and now know what does and doesn't work before I spend big bucks on all-in-one packages. So, our summer vacation has started today and I am really enjoying sitting here and typing a nice blog at 9:23 AM with only the laundry to do today. Ry is mourning the rain, because his first Monday morning of summer vacation can't be spent outside, but I'll admit to a little bit of gladness that I get a chance to have a lazy rainy day. I will be counting some of our summer activities as First Grade days, among which are visiting the Pittsburgh zoo, a visit to the air and space museum and various other educational field trips I can dream up to count for school days. Saturday, we did a 5 mile hike in the mountains. Ryan learned about poisonous snakes, underground mountain springs, viewed many varieties of butterflies and watched a baby wolf spider, stink bug, aphid and spider mites in action. We marveled at the beauty of the illusive Indigo Bunting and spotted various animal signs. Did I count this day as a First Grade school day?? Absolutely!! Think how much he learned that was much more memorable than sitting in front of a book reading about these things?? Not that reading about things is not valuable! It surely is and we do a lot of that as well. But Ry thrives on these hands-on learning experiences, which is my number one reason for continuing homeschooling next year. They don't offer this kind of learning in public school. And we have the freedom to do all this and more. As difficult as some days are, I am so thankful we have the homeschooling option. I really don't know how Ry would succeed in public school with his ADHD symptoms which cause him to learn much differently than the average child. So, all that being said, we are really excited to have a break from school, yet look forward with anticipation to all we will be learning next year as well! Happy Summer to all my readers! See you in the Fall!

A Child-like faith.

I received a discourse in the car the other day from my 7 year old son. He was explaining the need people have that requires them to have food to survive. I told him he was correct, that without food, people would die and asked him what other thing people need in order to survive. "Water," he replied. I then proceeded to go into great detail about how people actually require water more than food, that you could survive much longer without food than you could without water. "A great schooling moment", I think to myself. He listens intently then says, "Mom, there is one other thing people need to survive." "What's that?" I ask, wondering what crazy thing he is going to say, probably something like "birthday cake", or "matchbox cars" or "kitkat bars." "People need to trust in God, Mom, those are the three things we need to live."

Food
Water
Trust in God

The three things the human race needs to survive. What a wise soul you are, my son! And I am humbled by your simple childlike faith in God. How He is an integral part of your everyday life. You taught your teacher something special on that day. I praise God for you!

Making Butter

The week has been harried and its only Tuesday. Of course, it IS the week before Christmas, and while all other sensible homeschooling moms have wisely opted to start Christmas break early, this crazy mom has aspired to have a full week of school so that we can have next week AND the first week of January off. We are studying cows and dairy products this week and one of our science projects was to make butter. Well, being skeptical, but optimistic, I purchased said pint of whipping cream last night with high hopes but not much faith that this would actually work. I actually purchased 2 pints of whipping cream in case this frontier mom ruined the first batch. I've come to discover that its impossible to fail at butter making. Apparently, it is one of the easiest things ever, or perhaps I had an exceptionally great batch of whipping cream to start with. However I can claim the success, our butter took a mere 15 minutes of hearty shaking to form full fluffy peaks of richness. Flavored with a little salt and colored with a little yellow food coloring to make it pretty, I may never buy butter in a tub again. The flavor and texture is sweet, creamy and smooth. WOW! I have heard horror stories of failed butter attempts, small, liquidy, curdly, not fully formed butter. Prepared for the worst, I was amazed to open our jar and discover beautifully formed butter. With a 6 year old at the helm, we cannot claim consistent shaking, but somehow we did it! How cool is that? We're ready for that log cabin and covered wagon! We've got the butter making down pat! We probably would fail, however, at milking the cow by hand!

Wishing you and yours a Blessed Christmas!
Mrs. Mom

Shaking the jar of cream.

The finished product.

The happy shaker!